Written By Claudia Soruco
Dear Teacher:
As the new school year begins, I want you to know a few things about me so that we can make the best of this new year together!
I do not know how much I will talk to you or my classmates during a regular day; and I do not even know if I will answer an open question when you ask it to the entire class. It is not because I am rude or unmotivated to learn, I am just nervous. When the attention is put on me, I feel a mix of emotions from tension, fear, apprehension, and embarrassment. So do not get mad at me if I talk in a quiet and soft voice, trust me; it is loud enough in my head.
I want you to know that my level of tension goes up anytime you bring to class new activities or situations. I know you are excited to try this cool stuff. Please, do not get me wrong again and do not push me. Give me my time and you will see how much I will enjoy it. Probably the worst thing to tell me is “Come on! Don’t be shy!” or “ Say something! Don’t be quiet!” This does not help the situation at all, but instead it makes me think you want to change who I really am. Or you do not entirely accept me.
And also do you know what? You sometimes might not realize it, but whenever you see me struggling greeting people, making eye contact, initiating conversations, or joining in play, let me tell you that I am not faking it. It is real! It would be great if you could show me or teach me how to do it. I love watching you, so if you role-play or act out different social situations (using puppets, for example) I will learn quickly. Do not forget what might seem obvious to you, may be quite challenging for me.
I perfectly remember all those situations where other kids were teasing each other in the class, I felt so nervous. I do not like being the target of playful or harmful comments, but I do like when you stop them when you say, “ That’s not nice. I do not like when you say bad things to your friend.” Only by hearing those kinds of comments I feel safe and in peace.
But also, you should be aware the positive side about my shyness. I love watching and listen closely what is going on in my surroundings, which allows me to think deeply and make better choices. Also, I rarely will misbehave in the classroom. Why? Simply because during those time I remain quiet, I may be thinking what would you be thinking of me since I care too much about it. I have a great ability to understand not only your feelings but also my peers’ feelings.
You may be surprised, but do you remember last time you gave me the chance to be your special helper in the classroom? I spent the week before that practicing with my brothers and my parents on how to listen to the rules, how to wash hands, and how to line up. At some point, I could feel that they did not like much, but I was trying to make things easier for you that day.
Most of all, I want you to understand that I am a NORMAL person. The person I bring diversity and joy to your every day classroom experience. So do not try to “fix me.” It is not my fault. It is my personality trait. Most importantly, do not label me as the “Shy child” because if you do, I will start thinking of myself as shy, and more likely will act to fulfill this role is given to me. Instead, empathetically, help me to overcome it. You can read to me stories of other children who have overcame their shyness, set realistic goals for a more outgoing behaviors, acknowledge and praise any kind of outgoing behavior you see on me, etc.
Let me finish by saying that if you take the time to get to know me, you will found out that although I look quiet, I have a lot of things to say. You will learn that sometimes people that shine from within do not need a spotlight.
Love you,
Your deeply caring and reserved Child 🙂
Leave your comments below.
